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Sunday 30 October 2016

Slade: 178 Versions of Slade's Merry Christmas Everybody - never fails to please


Updated January 2023.

Back in 2016 I went a bit mad reviewing all the versions of Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everybody'  that I could find on YouTube, then organised them into a playlist. If played on Christmas Day, the listener/viewer could have a feast of 134 versions of the same song!


As of January 2023 there are 178 videos in the playlist, the playlist has had 28,873 views.

One of my personal favourites was "Merry Xmas Everybody - Settle Style".









The homemade video is described as "A Christmas song from the Lord, Hayes and Bryant families". The added fun includes the granny that is up and rock and rolling with the rest.



Two years after it was published on 27 Dec 2013, when I found it on YouTube, it had just 241 views.



I thought it was brilliant and originally put it at number 2 on my playlist to hopefully get it more views. And I set about plugging it on various Slade forums. To date, it's had 9,727 views.



The other interesting and fun version is 'Merry Xmas Everybody (Slade in the style of The Wurzels)'. Published on 21 Dec 2014, it had had just 54 views when I first saw it, and to date has risen modestly to 1,471 views.














Are you hanging up your pitchfork on the wall?


It's the time when I can harvest bugger all...









Saturday 29 October 2016

X Factor: Louisa Johnson - Playlist - 2007 to 2015

 X Factor contestant Louisa Johnson, from the present back to her humble beginnings.


According to the Mirror Louisa Johnson, the 2015 X Factor winner,  "has admitted she hated her [X-Factor selected] winner’s song, a cover of Bob Dylan’s Forever Young, which only reached number nine in the charts."


Well, I must admit I never liked that song very much, either. She wasn't suited to it and she's worthy of much better songs than that.


Although some of the 46 videos that were once public, have since been moved to  'private' status, what remains is still a worthy lasting record of her rise to fame in 2015.

LISTEN TO PLAYLIST ON YOUTUBE

Alan Winter, playlist creator.





Saturday 8 October 2016

Dunstable: Anecdotal Evidence - Ashton Site Set To Go Ahead Despite Inadequate Parking


In my teens, we lived in a maisonette above a parade of shops in a town centre location. Dad used to park the shop's van outside much of the time, although overnight it would be parked in a private garage close by. Then Dad got his own car and permission was obtained from the private landlords to park vehicles at the rear of the maisonettes. Mum bought a Wartburg estate car so she could get all her camping stuff in, she was Akela in a local cub pack. My brother bought a car, a Ford Zephyr as I recall, something to do with wanting a big American-looking car. I bought a Ford Capri. I think we were influenced by American tv shows like Happy Days and the A team.



There was no thought given to why we needed the cars other than cruising around, or wishfully picking up the chick, just like they did in Happy Days. Anyway, I digress. We parked the cars and van at the rear for a time, then one day the land was sold off for development. Mum sold her car off,  and we had to find somewhere else to park.


Not to worry, there were still spaces to park on the street in front of the shop. But that didn't last for long, as the dreaded yellow lines were extended, doubled, and parking became quite difficult. Sentries were posted to watch for the traffic wardens, and we'd quickly scramble for the keys to move the vehicles before a ticket was posted on the windscreens.


The van and three cars were often parked up in public car parking spaces a couple of minutes' walk away, beside the Town Hall. Before we knew it, the Council were bringing in parking for Council employees only during the daytime to that area. So, we had to vacate those spaces or face daily fines. I began parking mine in a free underground car park under the town hall. That was, until the Council slapped a barrier on the car park so that it permitted their daytime employees only.



From hereon we were restricted to driving around local residential streets hoping for a space to squeeze into.



The bottom line is that circumstances change,  and if you don't plan ahead, then you create a problem for the future. As Benjamin Franklin supposedly once said 'if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!'




And so, next week, Central Bedfordshire Council Development Management Committee meet to decide the future of the former Ashton Grammar School site in Dunstable's High Street North.  It is recommended for approval despite many concerns, not least parking.



The design and access statement page 15 has many references to parking objections; these are nonchalantly dismissed by the developers with the statement, "Additional parking spaces are provided for the scheme. Any shortfall is believed to be justified  given the site's location and likely resident profile."



Well, I'm sorry but there is no way to predict the likely resident profile. Anyone could end up living there. White van man whose van won't fit in the garage, a lady of the house who can't use the garage because it's full of family paraphernalia, a teenage daughter who parks awkwardly so that she takes up a neighbour's spot, too, and teenage son who can't find anywhere to park, so churns up the grass verge.



So, what are these additional spaces? I'm reading through the summary statement to Development Management councillors and I come across the remarks of the Principal Highways Engineer.  "I have made initial comments in relation to the planning performance submission and there have been various amendments of which I have given guidance." Call me cynical, but does that mean he's had his arm twisted?



He writes that 177 spaces have been provided, whereas 241 are required under the authority's guidelines. That 177 includes garages (which I say will be full of family equipment, and rarely used by a vehicle) and visitor parking. At this point the words of Benjamin Franklin should start to be echoing around the minds of councillors deciding the future of Dunstable.



He then goes on to show how the number of off-site parking spaces adjacent to the site can be increased very slightly, by just 7. Bizarrely, he also mentions Union Street and Clifton Road which could increase the parking provision by between 3 and 6 spaces. He does his duty by pointing out the on-site parking deficiency, then justifies the short allocation of spaces by tweaking what could be done outside the development site. This is ridiculous, future requirements will override the reason these spaces are to be created.



Any sane person would recommend a reduction of the number of properties on the site and increase the number of parking spaces until the authority's standard is met.



BUT, this 241 spaces ruling can be overridden if there are 'exceptional circumstances such as town centre locations with public car parks, bus services and immediate employment opportunities which could mean that some of the homeowners will not need to have a car.  Central Bedfordshire Council has pretty wishy-washy ideas about how much the desired number of parking spaces can be reduced by. In April 2015 they permitted, under delegated powers, a scheme in High Street South to go through with just 6 parking spaces for 26 flats and none for retailers



A reduction of the number of properties would also help out the concerns of the tree officer who states, " 20 healthy trees are being felled to accommodate this development... Regrettably, the limited planting space being allowed in the new scheme has resulted in the use of smaller replacement species that would offer insufficient size, scale and proportion within the building layout... the site is being overdeveloped at the expense of sufficient areas being set aside for landscape planting. "

And the Green Infrastructure Officer, "The failure to design in multifunctional SuDS, and the lack of clear information about management and maintenance means that the proposals are not acceptable in terms of local and national policy."



If councillors don't call this correctly, they'll just be storing up problems for future councillors to be harangued about. Do us all a favour, chuck this proposal out, and start thinking more about keeping this site for educational use. There is a private educational use buyer waiting in the wings.



The CBC meeting was broadcast on Wednesday 12 Oct 2016.








Wednesday 14 September 2016

South Bedfordshire: The Wrangle of Parliamentary Boundaries





Back in June we had three options. for how South Bedfordshire might be reshaped. I replied saying, just give us PR for Bedfordshire. Unfortunately, that is not an option, and they went with option S3.



Potentially, I see this as creating a battle zone between Labour and Conservatives for Luton South, a safe Labour seat for "Luton South and Houghton" (although why can't it be "Luton North and Houghton Regis" ?) and a safe seat for Conservatives in the new South West Bedfordshire.



If S3 is adopted, locally, the proposed parliamentary constituencies would cover the council wards of:




Luton North and Houghton


Luton North and Houghton BC 71,188

Houghton Hall Central Bedfordshire 5,717

Parkside Central Bedfordshire 3,220

Tithe Farm Central Bedfordshire 2,994

Bramingham Luton 5,366

Challney Luton 8,227

Icknield Luton 5,614

Leagrave Luton 7,492

Lewsey Luton 8,207

Limbury Luton 5,530

Northwell Luton 4,966

Saints Luton 8,501

Sundon Park Luton 5,354




Luton South


Luton South BC 71,881

Caddington Central Bedfordshire 7,267

Barnfield Luton 5,295

Biscot Luton 8,351

Crawley Luton 4,696

Dallow Luton 8,243

Farley Luton 6,839

High Town Luton 4,206

Round Green Luton 7,566

South Luton 6,139

Stopsley Luton 5,294

Wigmore Luton 7,985




South West Bedfordshire


South West Bedfordshire CC 77,673

Aspley and Woburn Central Bedfordshire 3,681

Barton-le-Clay Central Bedfordshire 3,974

Dunstable-Central Central Bedfordshire 3,332

Dunstable-Icknield Central Bedfordshire 5,731

Dunstable-Manshead Central Bedfordshire 3,575

Dunstable-Northfields Central Bedfordshire 6,528

Dunstable-Watling Central Bedfordshire 7,402

Eaton Bray Central Bedfordshire 3,292

Heath and Reach Central Bedfordshire 3,426

Leighton Buzzard North Central Bedfordshire 10,881

Leighton Buzzard South Central Bedfordshire 9,303

Linslade Central Bedfordshire 9,108

Toddington Central Bedfordshire 7,440



Tuesday 14 June 2016

How Do Pubs Survive These Days?

How Do Pubs Survive These Days?


I went into a pub the other day. It's not something I do very often. There were a couple of men in there drinking some yellowy stuff. I scanned the pumps looking for something that might be brown stuff. Kronenbourg, Skol, Cider, but nothing I could see was brown stuff. I thought,  maybe there's something showing on the price list. Price list. I scanned the walls around the bar for a price list. I couldn't see one.



"Do you have a price list?", I asked. The response was negative. One of the drinkers piped up, excusing the pub saying it was just a little pub. The thought ran through my mind that licensed premises had to display notices like that. [Later, on the Internet: 'Prior to consumption or payment by customers, the Consumer Protection from Unfair Trading Regulations 2008 require operators to make menus and prices readily available and to include such information required by a customer to make an informed choice.']



"What is it you want?" I was asked.

"Well, something like John Smith's," I offered.



I was told that they did have that, but I couldn't see it because it was "on the other side". I ordered a pint, and she went off to draw it. I opted to leave that bar through one door, enter the fresh air outside, and re-enter 'the other side', where the pint glass was almost full.



"How much, please?" I asked.

"£3.20."



I choked inwardly, reflecting on the four times 89p 500ml bottles of Heatherwood's Golden Goose I had purchased in Lidl's a few days earlier.



After paying, I looked around the bar. A Sky Sports channel was on. No other customers in the bar. A dart board on one wall. A few chairs and tables, and a cushioned bench. A rack of paperback books. Some old photographs on the walls. I walked over for closer inspections. Old pictures of the former village, nothing I hadn't seen before.



A certificate hung neglected beside the exit door, declaring ' --(pub name) -- winner of Tug of War competition 199- '.

"No sign of actual community involvement than at least 20 years ago", I thought to myself.



The sportscaster on tv started annoying me. I asked the barmaid if it could be turned off. "No, it has to stay on," she told me, "it's on contract."



My back was up. I was their only paying customer on 'this side'. Suppose someone wanted to get out of the house to get away from the rest of the family who was watching inane tv programmes? Why would they want more inane tv?



It had to stay on. I was offered another channel, as a consolation prize presumably, and opted for a music channel. More drivel came on, of a musical variety. Why would people come in here, I thought. Dart board. Maybe there are darts? I inquired. "Yes, we do," the barmaid started searching for darts, her fingers moved along a top shelf, a bottom shelf. Two were found. "I have 2." she offered.



I groaned to myself.



"Hang on," she said on tip-toes, here's the other one, and pushed the three over to me.



I played for a bit, but there again I could have played darts on my own at home. I sat down on a bench to finish drinking. Would I really want to stay here having another one? No, I wouldn't.



I would stick to whatever Lidl's, or the other supermarkets can come up with.





>





Wednesday 27 April 2016

Brexit: Patrick Stewart sketch: what has the ECHR ever done for us? - video





NOTE: Britain should withdraw from the European Convention on Human Rights regardless of the EU referendum result, Theresa May has said.



SILLY WOMAN: You have to be a member of the ECHR to be a member of the EU. The European Union itself agrees to abide by the ECHR.

Nod to Monty Python: What did the Roman's Ever do for us?




Saturday 13 February 2016

Americanese? - That old chestnut


Americanese should be an official language.

Americans speak English because the United States was colonized by the British in the 17th century, and English became the dominant language. The colonies used British English as their main language and it evolved over time to become American English.

On the other hand, language is determined by culture, and the United States is a melting pot of cultures with various languages spoken by different groups of people. Hence, there is no particular language that can be called "American." However, American English has some unique features compared to British English, such as vocabulary, pronunciation, and spelling, which make it distinct and recognizable as an American variety of English.

Elevator (American English) vs Lift (British English)
Trash (American English) vs Rubbish (British English)
Cookie (American English) vs Biscuit (British English)
Sidewalk (American English) vs Pavement (British English)
Gasoline (American English) vs Petrol (British English)
Apartment (American English) vs Flat (British English)
Vacation (American English) vs Holiday (British English)
Pants (American English) vs Trousers (British English)
Faucet (American English) vs Tap (British English)
Soccer (American English) vs Football (British English)

It was James' first visit to the USA and he was excited to explore the country and meet new people. Little did he realize that his scant knowledge of American English would make it difficult for him to communicate at times. When he first arrived he asked for help to get his luggage out of the boot of his car. Everyone around him was puzzled, until he pointed to the trunk of the car. When he entered the hotel, he asked if there was a lift to reach his floor. The confused receptionist asked him to repeat the word. Finally, he saw what he was looking for and pointed to the elevator.

"Strange people," he thought to himself, "I thought they spoke English here."

James changed and went to brush his teeth, but he struggled to turn on the tap. In his room he noticed a rubbish bin that hadn't been emptied. He took it downstairs to the receptionist.
"My rubbish bin hasn't been emptied," he said.
The puzzled staff member looked around for clues, and seeing the trash can realised what he was on about.
"I'll empty that garbage for you," offered the man.
"Thank you. Now, I have been having trouble turning on the tap', he complained.
"Tap?, You are a tap dancer, perhaps?" offered the receptionist, and then realising the British accent, suggested, "in America it's called a 'faucet'."
"Okay," said James, misunderstanding, "I'll go back and force it."
Next, James tried to ask for directions to his friend's flat, and showed an address on paper to the receptionist.
"Ah, yes, this apartment is over here —"
"No, no, He lives in a flat. What is apartment?" protested James.
"In America we call them apartments," explained the man, who continued, "Just go down this sidewalk —"
"This — what?" asked James, "Sidewalk?"
"Uuum sorry, To you, that's pavement," said the diligent recepionist, adding, "Are you feeling cold today? I see you have a sweater on."
Mishearing, James protested, "What do you mean I'm sweating? I'm not, and anyway I like this jumper."


James left the hotel, and strolled down the pavement. 'Ah, sidewalk!' he told himself, 'what a silly word, no one walks sideways unless they have crab feet!'

He needed a torch in case there was a power cut at night, and seeing a hardware shop, he popped in and asked for a torch. A simple enough request, but the American shopkeeper was convinced he was talking about setting something on fire. James wandered around the shop until he saw what he wanted and used his new communication tool, his finger. He pointed at the torch.
"Ah, flashlight," said the shopkeeper, "Why didn't you say that in the first place?"
Back in the street, he spotted a kiosk and asked for a packet of crisps.
The man in the kiosk looked baffled.
"Oh, not again," sighed James, this time using his finger to point at what he wanted.
"Potato chips. Here you go", said the vendor.

Next, he stopped in a cafe, sitting at a table, and ordered tea and biscuits. The tea arrived but the biscuits didn't.
"Excuse me, I asked for biscuits" said James, trying his best to be polite.
He got blank looks.
James pointed to someone else who was eating what he wanted.
"Cookies!" exclaimed the cafe owner.

A little later James went into a clothing shop to buy a new pair of trousers. When he asked the salesperson if he had any pairs of 'trousers' in his size, the man looked confused. He told James that they only have 'pants' in the store. James could only chuckle to himself. 'What a silly place!', he thought, 'Pants are what you wear under your trousers!'

Following that, he thought he'd try the museum. He stood in a queue for the museum for so long, he could hardly move.
"When's this queue moving?" he asked.
But sadly, nobody understood what he was talking about.
Later, he learned that it was called a line in America.

To cap off his day, James decided to watch a football match, or at least that's what he thought.
As he asked for directions to a 'football' stadium, he was told that in America it's called 'soccer'.

Back in the hotel he mentioned that he was expecting a delivery from a lorry, but people looked at him as if he had three heads. They knew no one called A Laurie.
A passing Brit, realised the problem, and told him "they call it a truck in America."

The next day he needed to fill up his rental car with petrol, but he couldn't find any petrol stations. Then, he saw a sign that read "gasoline", and wondered it gas might be petrol? James had never heard it referred to as gasoline before.

He was surprised that the word he thought was universally understood had a different meaning in America.

James had a good laugh at himself as he realized how different the meaning of words can be between two countries that share the same language.

As he continued his trip, he tried to learn more American English words to avoid confusion. He asked for directions to the nearest 'restroom' instead of 'toilet', and ordered a 'soda' instead of 'fizzy drink'.

Overall, James had a great time exploring America and trying to speak American English words. He learned that language is constantly evolving and changing, and that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you're willing to learn and adapt.


And then, of course, there is Scottish, and neither the English nor the Americans can figure that out!

Oor language is ar ain an’ we're no gonnae change fir aebody. So awa’ an’ bile yer heid. A wiz in America years ago an’ met a lass fi Paisley (Am fae Auld Reekie masel’)an’ got tae bletherin as ye dae. While we sat a yank went past an’ said “ I realize you're Speaking English but have no Idea what you're saying “ He wid probably’ve got some of it but the twa of us were haverin sae fast it wid mak yer heid birl an’ ye wid huv tae hae a sit doon. Dinnae be sae an eejit asking sae dippit a question, it maks ye sound a richt gowk.