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Thursday 21 March 2024

My Relationship to Jane Austen

Someone amazing will turn up in your family tree if you go back far enough.

Today I'm told I am related to Jane Austen, (16 December 1775 – 18 July 1817), the English novelist known primarily for her six novels:
  • Sense and Sensibility (1811), 
  • Pride and Prejudice (1813), 
  • Mansfield Park (1814), 
  • Emma (1816), 
  • Northanger Abbey (1817) published posthumously
  • Persuasion (1817) published posthumously
Another, eventually titled Sanditon, was uncompleted at her death. 

She also left behind three volumes of juvenile writings in manuscript, the short epistolary novel Lady Susan, and the unfinished novel The Watsons. (Wikipedia)

Jane Austen's novels were celebrated in a set of 6 stamps published in 2013.






Saturday 2 March 2024

Misheard Lyrics

Hold me closer Tony Danza...

count the head-lice on the highway...

Climb every woman, Chaka Khan, I'm every woman.

Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you...

“That’s pee in the corner, that’s pee in the spotlight”

Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll (it should be "Gimme the beat, boys, and free my soul")

I've got...two chickens to paralyze! (I've got two tickets to paradise)

John Travolta sang ‘I have shoes they’re made for tying’ 

'Take off your clothes and come INSIDE!" Cilla Black

Bob Marley - 'I shot the ferret '
     'with the roof rack over our heads' 
    'Hop-a-long soldier, in the heart of America!'

Johnny Nash - I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone

Life in the Batplane!

Simmit in me pants and ting
semi gear heart attack

instead of 'True you see me in m'pants and ting
See me in me 'alter back'

Wham: "Wake me up and pour me Cocoa" 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be..
I am the Lord of the dark settee


Lit up like a douche in the middle of the night
There’s a rooner in the night.
Lit up like a douche, another boner in the night
 revved up like douche, y'know a roamer in the night.
revved up like a douche with a boner in the Nile

Adam and the Ants: "Stand on yer dinner"

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival! And the last known survivor, dunks his bread in the night...

Beatles: She’s got a chicken to ride, she’s got a chicken to RA ha hide
Cheese got a ticket to ride but she don't care

Kenny Rogers: 500 children and a crap in the field. From a fine time to leave me Lucille.
fine time to leave me loose wheel
5 hungry children and crops in the field.
400 children and a crop in the field 
 you picked a fine time to leave me loose heel.

Queen - spare him his wife from his warm sausage tea!!!

Oooh we're half way thereee whoaaa lipstick on a pear

"I guess it rains down in Africa." (should be 'I bless the rains down in Africa')
I bless Lorraine down in Africa

Billy Ocean, "Go and get stuffed"

Phil Collins, " something about Cumming in her hair tonight"

Don't go around tonight
Well it's bound to take your life
There’s a bathroom on the right

Killers: Are we human or are we denser? (should be "Are we human Or are we dancer?")

Police: A year has passed since I broke my nose (wrote my note)

The Jam: E's a right one, E's a right one (Eton Rifles)