SCANDAL OF MPs EXPENSES

2-jags apparently claimed twice in two years for fixing a WC in his private house. Perhaps the reason he has had so many loo problems is that he's been shoving so much food - £400 a month on food expenses - down his greedy gob. I always thought he was full of cr*p.

Harriet Harman says the House of Commons authorities check that the expenses of MPS are within the rules. Well, clearly the rules need changing!

"I have only ever had 1 small flat at any one time in London" says Hazel Blears, swiftly ignoring the facts that the Torygraph today publishes information stating she claimed for three different properties in one year. I say she should resign.

And so the expenses come out. And most of them ARE NOT expenses in the course of doing a job. Farleys rusks, Mouse killer, a pizza wheel, a chocolate santa, cat food, potato peeler, X-rated movies... They are making money hand-over-fist on 2nd homes. It is scandulous what is being claimed on MPs expenses.

I just fear that MPs will now get the idea that the sh*t has really hit the fan. Watch them. They'll now be putting in expense claims for new fans, and specialist cleaning operatives! Not to worry, Gordon Brown knows just the cleaner they can employ. The Prime Minister paid his brother for cleaning, at a neat £10.50 per hour (and that's probably a lot more than this top executive at EDF energy pays his own cleaners!)

Parliament is clearly a gravy train. The authority that settles the claims needs to be brought to task, not the people lapping up the gravy "because every one else on the train is lapping up the gravy". If something is not a legitimate cost in the course of a performing a job, then "nothing doing".

While I discussed this little lot with work colleagues, a package arrived for me. "Watcha got, Al?" they enquired.
"Oh, that's a guillotine I ordered off E-bay".
** chuckles all round **


... So just ask the MPs to queue up at my desk, and place their heads ..."

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