Thoughts on Proportional Representation

I think a lot of the work an MP does is to do with individual cases where a person has a problem/ issue with a governmental process. Just as a house conveyancer doesn't need to live in the same town as you, neither does an MP. I emailed Selous and my current MP with various concerns and they've emailed responses. So, if there are a group of MPs for a region, under PR, then I would envision a range of specialist skills being offered by them and a constituent being directed to a particular MP, regardless of Party, to tackle those personal concerns.

The next major thing the MPs do is to do with running the country, introducing new laws, and tweaking older rules. All the MPs for a regíon, well all MPs, would be fair game to be lobbied about those.

The third area, has to do with local issues. And while there are many who think that's important this is where I have a slight problem. Would the regional MPs meet to carve up towns between themselves to adopt so they become area champions, or would some areas be left almost 'unserved'? Would they form a regional committee to meet with Town and/or County/UA councillors to thrash out priorities?

I'll leave it there for now.

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

Memories of COOLI

Leaving Dacorum College in 1974, I spent the summer working in Skegness on Butlins bars, and then returned to Hemel Hempstead where I had no idea how I wanted to earn a living. After filling in various applications, a week followed where I had interviews with Eastern Electricity, British Gas, RAF, and Shell Mex and BP Marketing. I was offered three jobs and had been put off the RAF. I took the oil company route as, with shift allowance it meant significantly more money, plus working on big computers seemed very future-proof. 

The company's office building used to straddle Marlowes in Hemel Hempstead. It's long since been demolished, partly through fears that tiles were falling off it onto traffic, and partly to make way for a bigger shopping offer at the southern end of Marlowes. 

SM and BP Marketing soon morphed into two separate companies with the Shell people moving to Wythenshawe, and the BP people remaining in Hemel. That's the background. Today I wanted to focus on COOLI.

In my early days at BP Oil Ltd  computer operations department per shift there were 6 people in the office area  (offline) and by the time I'd finished some 20 years later this had been taken over by COOLI (Computerised Offline System) run by one person.

 There was another 5 or 6 people running the computer tasks (online), that's 2 to load the tapes onto the decks, 1 or 2 to sit at a console and decide which jobs to run, a team leader and a deputy team leader to stand around and make sure everything ran smoothly. That's assuming no one was on annual leave, taking a tea (or beer) break or having lunch. 20 years later, at least on my shift, nearly the same workload was being done by one person assisted by the COOLI person now and then. 

All this through efficiency, and gradually improved programming which meant the jobs didn't error out during processing. 

Reflecting on COOLI, this was an area I particularly focussed on. One of the prime reasons jobs failed to process was that they had the wrong file versions going into the next sequential job. This was sometimes down to the console operator not knowing the correct order to run things in, or more often this was down to the order in which COOLI jobs were compiled in the first place. Over several weeks I took it on myself to check through paper records of the previous shift's work to understand why any jobs had errored out. I then made changes to COOLI so the jobs wouldn't fail next time.

I regarded it a major success when, one particular month end as the most complicated totality of jobs were normally processed, nothing errored out at all. A triumph, indeed!

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

To Remove Graffiti

To remove graffiti, you can follow these general steps:

1. Act quickly: The sooner you address graffiti, the easier it is to remove it. Prompt action can prevent the paint from penetrating deeper into the surface, making removal easier.

2. Safety first: Ensure that you are wearing appropriate protective gear such as gloves, goggles, and a mask to protect yourself from chemicals and fumes.

3. Determine the surface: Different surfaces require different removal methods. Identify the type of surface that has been graffitied, such as concrete, brick, metal, glass, or wood. The method you use may vary depending on the surface material.

4. Test cleaning agents: Before applying any cleaning agent to the surface, test it on a small, inconspicuous area to ensure it doesn't cause damage or discolouration.

5. Clean with appropriate method:

   - Water and detergent: For non-porous surfaces like glass or metal, you can start by using a mild detergent mixed with water. Scrub the graffiti gently with a sponge or soft brush, and rinse thoroughly.

   - Pressure washing: High-pressure water cleaning can be effective on some surfaces like concrete or brick. Use a pressure washer with an appropriate nozzle and follow the manufacturer's instructions.

   - Chemical cleaners: There are graffiti removal products available that are specifically designed to break down paint. These can be effective for various surfaces. Apply the cleaner according to the instructions, and use a brush or sponge to scrub away the graffiti. Rinse the area thoroughly afterward.

   - Paint removal: In some cases, if the graffiti is on a painted surface and the cleaning methods mentioned above don't work, you may need to repaint the area. This approach is more suitable for walls or fences.

6. Repeat if necessary: Depending on the type and thickness of the graffiti, you may need to repeat the cleaning process several times to completely remove it. Be patient and persistent.

7. Prevent future graffiti: Consider applying anti-graffiti coatings or films to the surface. These protective layers can make it easier to remove graffiti in the future.

Remember, certain surfaces or historical structures may require professional restoration or conservation techniques. If you're unsure or dealing with valuable or delicate surfaces, it's best to consult with professionals in graffiti removal or restoration.

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

꧁ The Elusive Promise ꧂

꧁ The Elusive Promise ꧂

In a world where promises are spun,

Governments declare, their will is done.

Targets set to halt the warming's might,

Yet they dance away, like whispers in the night.

Oh, the grand ambitions they proclaim,

To save our Earth, to douse the flame.

But as the years go by, and seasons change,

Their promises fade, like a distant exchange.

Target dates, they push, and push again,

A dance of politics, a game of pretend.

The urgency of now, it slowly fades,

Lost in the haze of bureaucratic charades.

They speak of hope, of a greener land,

But actions falter, like shifting sand.

The Earth grows weary, burdened by the strain,

While empty promises fall like drops of rain.

The clock keeps ticking, the world keeps warming,

Yet the targets move, forever transforming.

The elusive promise, a mirage in the air,

Leaving us longing, in a state of despair.

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

Helpdesk

Ask a question, get an answer. That's how it's supposed to go...

I emailed Wyre Council's general email address the other day. This lead to a day-long exchange of emails.

ME: I am a carer. I believe we live in a No Cold Calling Zone. We had Virgin Media cold call the other day when it was inconvenient. Please could we have a No Cold Calling sticker for the door?

WYRE COUNCIL: Thank you for your email.  The stickers are available from Trading Standards.

ME: Thank you for your email. How do I contact Trading Standards?

WYRE COUNCIL: 0808 800 9060

I proceeded to call the number but it didn't seem right.

ME: Thank you for the phone number. I wanted "Trading Standards" as advised in your 1st email. 

The number you gave me is for Advice Direct Scotland.

WYRE COUNCIL: Sorry but that is the contact number as per google.

ME: Thank you for using Google to find an incorrect telephone number on my behalf. I was under the impression that Trading Standards were part of Wyre Council. Apparently, not. 

Never mind, I used Google to help me find the correct phone number for trading standards.

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

My Relationship to Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe in 1953. (2024, March 22). In Wikipedia.

Born Norma Jeane Mortenson on June 1, 1926, in Los Angeles, California, Marilyn Monroe rose to stardom and became an enduring symbol of beauty and glamour. Her childhood was marked by instability, as she faced numerous challenges and spent time in foster care.

Monroe's career began in the late 1940s when she signed a contract with 20th Century-Fox. She quickly garnered attention for her beauty and talent, captivating audiences with her performances in films like "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" and "Some Like It Hot." Monroe was a talented actress and also a successful model and singer.

Despite her professional success, Monroe faced personal struggles and experienced tumultuous relationships, including marriages to baseball player Joe DiMaggio and playwright Arthur Miller. Tragically, her life was cut short when she passed away on 5 August 1962, at the age of 36.

Monroe's screen persona and unique blend of vulnerability and sensuality endeared her to audiences worldwide. Her films continue to be celebrated, and she remains an influential and beloved cultural icon.

Marilyn's life and career were characterized by both triumphs and tragedies. Her impact on popular culture is undeniable, and her legacy as one of Hollywood's most iconic stars lives on.

* Just about anyone alive today can claim a relationship to anyone else if they go back far enough. 

** I read today (1/04/2024) that, "A burial crypt close to the final resting place of Hollywood actress Marilyn Monroe has sold for $195,000 (£154,443) at auction." Just for the record, it wasn't me!

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

My Relationship to Jane Austen

Someone amazing will turn up in your family tree if you go back far enough.

Today I'm told I am related to Jane Austen, (16 December 1775 – 18 July 1817), the English novelist known primarily for her six novels:

• Sense and Sensibility (1811), 
• Pride and Prejudice (1813), 
• Mansfield Park (1814), 
• Emma (1816), 
• Northanger Abbey (1817) published posthumously
• Persuasion (1817) published posthumously

Another, eventually titled Sanditon, was uncompleted at her death. 

She also left behind three volumes of juvenile writings in manuscript, the short epistolary novel Lady Susan, and the unfinished novel The Watsons. (Wikipedia)

Jane Austen's novels were celebrated in a set of 6 stamps published in 2013.

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

Misheard Lyrics

Hold me closer Tony Danza...

count the head-lice on the highway...

Climb every woman, Chaka Khan, I'm every woman.

Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you...

“That’s pee in the corner, that’s pee in the spotlight”

Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll (it should be "Gimme the beat, boys, and free my soul")

I've got...two chickens to paralyze! (I've got two tickets to paradise)

John Travolta sang ‘I have shoes they’re made for tying’ 

'Take off your clothes and come INSIDE!" Cilla Black

Bob Marley - 'I shot the ferret '

     'with the roof rack over our heads' 

    'Hop-a-long soldier, in the heart of America!'

Johnny Nash - I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone

Life in the Batplane!

Simmit in me pants and ting

semi gear heart attack

instead of 'True you see me in m'pants and ting

See me in me 'alter back'

Wham: "Wake me up and pour me Cocoa" 

Dance, dance, wherever you may be..

I am the Lord of the dark settee

Lit up like a douche in the middle of the night

There’s a rooner in the night.

Lit up like a douche, another boner in the night

 revved up like douche, y'know a roamer in the night.

revved up like a douche with a boner in the Nile

Adam and the Ants: "Stand on yer dinner"

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival! And the last known survivor, dunks his bread in the night...

Beatles: She’s got a chicken to ride, she’s got a chicken to RA ha hide

Cheese got a ticket to ride but she don't care

Kenny Rogers: 500 children and a crap in the field. From a fine time to leave me Lucille.

fine time to leave me loose wheel

5 hungry children and crops in the field.

400 children and a crop in the field 

 you picked a fine time to leave me loose heel.

Queen - spare him his wife from his warm sausage tea!!!

Oooh we're half way thereee whoaaa lipstick on a pear

"I guess it rains down in Africa." (should be 'I bless the rains down in Africa')

I bless Lorraine down in Africa

Billy Ocean, "Go and get stuffed"

Phil Collins, " something about Cumming in her hair tonight"

Don't go around tonight

Well it's bound to take your life

There’s a bathroom on the right

Killers: Are we human or are we denser? (should be "Are we human Or are we dancer?")

Police: A year has passed since I broke my nose (wrote my note)

The Jam: E's a right one, E's a right one (Eton Rifles)

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

Cockney Rhyming Slang

London Cockney Rhyming Slang: Warning: The Language in this section might cause offence. Please do not proceed if you are easily offended.

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

Cockney Rhyming Slang 3

Home

Slang: Page 3 Previous page    OPQRSTUVWXYZ O Odour colon - an pun on 'eau de cologne'. "Sorry about the smell, it's my odour colon". offie - very common term for an off-licence (where they sell alcohol). e.g. "D'you fancy popping dahn the offie for some booze ?". (do the) off /frank - to leave, "I'm gonna do the off". To 'do the Frank' isModern Rhyming Slangfor Frank Bough (off), "I'm gonna do the Frank". off your face - to be very drunk. e.g.. " Last night I was totally off my face !". off your trolley / rocker - a bit mad, crazy. oily (rag) - Rhyming Slang for 'fag' (cigarette). old boy / old chap - the term 'old boy' can be used for an old man, i.e. "Look at that poor old boy over there", or can be used as a euphemism for the penis. old fruit - an affectionate address. Of unknown origin. e.g. "Awright me old fruit, how's it going ?". one-eye(d) - the hole at end of penis. Also, 'one-eyed' is used as a prefix to many phrases for the penis, i.e. one-eyed trouser snake etc. on the game - to be prostitute. on the job - to be involved in sexual activity. i.e. "John's got a smile on 'is face, must 'av been on the job all night". on your bike ! - an common exclamation for 'go away' or 'you must be joking'. out of your tree - crazy, drunk or stoned.   P Paki - a derogatory term used to describe anyone who looks vaguely Asian. paki shop - a slightly racist (but sometimes semi- affectionate) term used to describe a corner shop (always open, often expensive !) often run by Asians. pan handle - an erection. From the upward angle of a cooking pan handle. e.g. "I woke up with a real pan handle this morning". pants ! - A 90's term that seems to be very popular recently. It can be used as an exclamation of frustration (much in the way that 'arse !' is) or to describe something that is bad or rubbish. i.e. "Did you watch the Arsenal match, wasn't it pants ?". Some times prefixed by 'a load of old' or 'complete'. parky - chilly (weather). i.e. "It's a bit parky out there". peanut smuggling - what a girl is said to be doing when her nipples can been seen through her clothes. e.g. "Look at that girl over there, she's smuggling peanuts !". pearl necklace - the common name given to the act of ejaculating on the upper chest and neck of a woman during sex, thus giving the appearance of a pearl necklace (allegedly). pear- shaped - when something has 'gone pear-shaped' it has gone wrong. Probably derived from the 'sagging' shape of a pear. pen and ink -Rhyming Slangfor stink. Used in it's full form. Pete Tong -Modern Rhyming Slang for 'wrong'. A common phrase that can be heard is "It's all gone Pete Tong !". phat - general term of approval. From Afro American origin. Possible origins are 'Pussy Hips And Tits' and PHysically ATtractive' when the term was used in reference to a woman. Thanks to Chris Bay. pictures of the Queen - paper money. Usually used sarcastically. i.e. "How do you want paying ?", "Pictures of the Queen mate !". pillow biter - a homosexual. Comes from the supposed pain caused by anal sex, thus using ones pillow to bite on. piss-easy - something that is very easy. i.e. "That exam I had to do was piss-easy". pissed - unlike the American version of the word (which means 'annoyed'), this is the most common slang term for being drunk. Other variants are 'pissed-up', 'pissed as arseholes ', 'pissed as a fart ', ' pissed as a newt' etc. piss-head - a habitual drinker or drunkard. piss it up the wall - to spend money foolishly, usually on drink, drugs or gambling. Also 'spunk it up the wall'. e.g. "I can't believe I got payed last week and I've pissed it all up the wall !". piss off / pissed off - telling someone to 'piss off' is a milder version of 'fuck off', to be 'pissed off' is to be annoyed or fed up. piss-up - a big drinking session. i.e. "Fancy coming out for a piss-up". Also ' booze-up '. pissed-up - to be very drunk. plank - an idiot, fool. e.g. "You complete plank !". plates of meat - a well knownRhyming Slangterm for 'feet'. Used in both it's short ('plates') and long form. plonker - an idiot, fool or a word for penis. Popularized by the UK TV comedy 'Only fools and horses'. i.e. "Rodney you total plonker !", or "You're pulling my plonker". pocket billiards / pool - a euphemism for fondling the 'meat and two veg' through the pockets in one's trousers. e.g. "I'm sure that bloke over there is playing pocket billiards". ponce - a word with many meanings in the UK. It's original meaning was similar to that of the US 'pimp' but it is used more as a term of general abuse now. If you call someone a ponce you could be indicating that they are very flashy or even a bit camp. The term 'ponce about' ("stop poncing about !") is directed at someone who is aimless or slow especially when the person using the term is impatiently waiting for them. i.e. " Stop poncing about, we've got to be there in 5 minutes !". Another term is 'ponce off' meaning 'to scrounge' and comes from the original usage where a ponce is a pimp earning money from prostitutes. An example would be "Are you gonna ponce off me all night or are you gonna get your ownfags?". pony - slang term for £25. An example of this can be heard in the theme tune for 'Only fools and horses' (UK comedy) which says "I put a pony in my pocket...". pony and trap -Rhyming Slangfor 'crap'. You could say "I'm going for a pony" (going to the toilet) or that something is 'pony' (no good). porky pies -Rhyming Slangfor 'lies'. Mostly shortened to 'porkies'. i.e. "You're tellin' porkiesmate". posh wank - there are two meanings for this modern phrase. One is to receive ahand-jobfrom your wife/girlfriend/other. The other is to masturbate with a condom on. e.g. "Time to go home, lads, I've booked a posh wank tonight". powder your nose - a euphemism for taking cocaine. e.g. "Where's Dave ?", "He's just nipped off to powder his nose". pro - short for prostitute. propellerhead - a geek, nerd. Especially used to label someone who is into technology/computing but socially inept. pukka - means 'authentic' or 'first-rate'. Originates from the Hindi word 'pakka' meaning 'substantial'. This word was originally used in the Indian colonies. pump your nads - something that gets you excited (sexually or otherwise) or that you really like. i.e. "Yeah that really pumps my nads". From the process of ejaculation (where 'nads' is a shortening of gonads). punter - the paying public, a customer. e.g. "We really won't know how well the business will go until we start getting the punters in".      Q Queer - very common term for a gay man. queer street - to be in trouble or in a difficult situation is to be 'in queer street'. quickie - to quick act of sexual intercourse. Usually spontaneous. Can also be used as a term for having a quick drink.   R Rabbit (rabbit and pork) -Rhyming Slangfor 'talk'. Used in it's short form. Popularized by the classic(?) Chas & Dave song "Rabbit rabbit(?)". The phrase "You've got more rabbit than Sainsbury's" also comes from the song. Normally applied to someone who talks too much especially a nagging woman. Radio Rental -Modern Rhyming Slangfor 'mental' (crazy / angry). Coined from the well known chain of TV hire shops in the UK. e.g. "You wait till Dave sees the state of his car, he'll go Radio Rental !". Thanks to Alex Birkett. ramped - drunk. i.e. "We were ramped after that bottle of wine". (to blow a) raspberry (tart) - to blow a raspberry comes from theRhyming Slang 'raspberry tart' meaning 'fart'. Always used in it's short form. raspberry ripple -Rhyming Slangfor 'nipple' or 'cripple'. rat-arsed - drunk. Normally prefixed with 'totally'. readies - cash. i.e. "Av you got any readies John, I don't wanna put this on plastic ?". reefer - common word for a cannabis 'joint result - a successful outcome to something, usually either a sporting event or something at least slightly dodgy. Often prefixed with "a right". i.e. "I see thegooners'ad a right result yesterday !". rev up ! - an exclamation much the same as 'on your bike' as if to say 'get out', 'you must be joking'. Richard the Third -Rhyming Slang for 'turd' (excrement) or 'bird' (girlfriend). (a) right Charlie - seeCharlie Ronceandponce. ring-piece - relatively common term for the anus. e.g. " That curry I had last night has scorched my ring-piece !". roger / rogering - to have sexual intercourse with. e.g. "I gave her a right good rogering !". ropey - dodgy, of poor quality, horrible etc. e.g. "Blimey, you should av' seen the ropey oldbirdDave was snogging last night, he must have beenhammered". Rosie Lee -Rhyming Slangfor 'tea'. Used mainly in it's full form. i.e. "D'you fancy a cup of Rosie Lee ?". Ruby (Murray) -Rhyming Slangfor 'curry'. After the popular singer. i.e. "Are you coming out for a Ruby tonight ?". Used in long and short form. ruck - a fight. From the word 'ruckus'.  rug - wig, toupee.(do a) runner- leave an area unexpectedly, or the scene of a crime promptly. e.g. "Where that bastard gone ?  I bet he's done a runner !".   S Safe - good, all is fine. General term used to indicate that everything is o.k. salt / sort - the word salt means woman (esp. a 'loose' woman or sexual partner) and has been used since the 19th century. Usually pron. 'sort'. It is used in a slightly derogatory way and is nearly always prefixed by 'some old'. e.g. "Dave wasn't dahn theboozerlast night, must av been out with some old sort he met the other night". sausage jockey - a gay man (a man who 'rides' 'sausages'). scarpa / scarper -Rhyming Slangfor Scapa Flow - to run off / leave quickly. Scooby-Do -Modern Rhyming Slangfor 'clue'. e.g. "I 'avn't a Scooby mate". scrounge - to beg or sponge off of others. seeing-to - to perform sexual intercourse. e.g. "I'd give her a good seeing-to". see you next Tuesday - an very rude acronym (C U Next Tuesday).  Sexton Blake -Rhyming Slangfor 'fake'. shafted - to be treated badly, to be in trouble. e.g. "I'm totally shafted if I don't get that job". shafting - sexual intercourse. e.g. "I gave her a good shafting". shag - very common mildly rude term for sexual intercourse. shagged-out - to feel tired. shitfaced - very drunk. Can be abbreviated to 'faced'. shit for brains - term of abuse for someone of low wit or intelligence. shitter - common term for the anus. Can also be used as a term of frustration - i.e. "That's a real shitter". Also see " Garry Glitter". shed-load - a huge amount. e.g. "I've got a shed-load of dodgy stuff for sale". shell-like - the ear. e.g. The old phrase " Can I have a word in your shell-like ?". shell-out - to have to pay for, usually unexpectedly. sherbert dab -Modern Rhyming Slangfor 'cab' (taxi). sherman (tank) -Rhyming Slangfor 'wank' (to masturbate). Normally used in it's short form. e.g. "John's been ages in the toilet. Probably gone for a sherman !". Sir Anthony Blunt -Rhyming Slangfor 'cunt'. Also see 'berk '. skin diver -Modern Rhyming Slangfor 'fiver' (five pound note). Also "deep sea diver". skint - to have no money, penniless. Also see ' boracic' and 'potless'. skirt - young attractive woman. Often preceded with "a bit of". A common 'lads' term. e.g. "I never realized this was such a good place to eye skirt" or "What you need is a nice bit of skirt to cheer you up". skunk - a particularly strong variety of marijuana. named so because of it's strong smell. slag - a very common word for a loose woman or generally a rough lookingbird. e.g. "She is a right old slag". Used by men and women. It can also be used amongst men as an insult and can be heard in 70's and 80's police drama's (" Shut it you slaaag !"). slaphead - a bald per son. slapper - a common term for a loose woman. slash - a very common slang term for urination. e.g. "I'm dying for a slash". smeg ! - derived from the word smegma. Can be used as an exclamation or a euphemism for fuck. e.g. "Oh smeg I forgot to post that letter !". This saying was very much popularized by the UK TV series 'Red Dwarf'. smeghead - an idiot, dickhead. Popularized (if not actually invented) by the UK TV series 'Red Dwarf'. snog - to kiss, usually with tongues. A childish word, mainly used by teenagers ("Cor, Sally got a snog off John after the disco !") or humorously by others ("Fancy a snog luv ?"). solid - reliable, dependable (a solidgeezer). e.g. "You don't have to worry about Dave, he's a solid bloke". Also another name for cannabis resin. sort - seesalt spanner - a fool, weak individual. Popular 90's term. spondulics - money. Probably from the Greek word 'spondulikos' a type of shell used as an early form of money. Also shortened to 'sponds'. i.e. "Have you any sponds you could loan me ?". spoof/spuff - semen. spliff - common term for a cannabis cigarette. Originates from the West Indies. squire - a general term of address towards a man similar to 'guvnor'. Steffi (Graff) -Modern Rhyming Slangfor 'laugh'. ie "You're 'avin a Steffi mate !". (suggested by Chris Donnelly). stiffy - an erection. e.g. "I woke up with a real stiffy this morning". stoke-on-trent -Rhyming Slangfor 'bent' (homosexual). stork - an erection. e.g. "Aw, I've got a right stork on after seeing thatbird". strike a light - an old exclamation only really heard as a tong-in-cheek Cockney phrase nowadays. Sometimes preceded by "stroll on". stuffed - done in, ripped off, in trouble etc. e.g. "I'll be completely stuffed if my wife finds out". stuffing - to perform sexual intercourse (male perspective). e.g. "I gave her a good stuffing". stunner - pron. 'stunnah'. A very good lookingbird. suss - savvy/know how. eg. "He got a lot of suss" sussed / sussed out - can mean found out / discovered, or well adjusted / together. (badly) sussed - what someone might say if they catch you out. For example if you disagree with someone on a point and are then proved wrong the other person might say "Badly sussed mate !". Sweeny Todd -Rhyming Slangfor The Flying Squad - after the demon barber who turned people into pies. Used as the name for the TV show 'The Sweeny' ("Shut it you slaaag !"). sweet - slang for 'excellent' or 'cool'. sweet as a nut - meaning 'nice', 'simple', 'no problem'. sweets - a euphemism for testicles. e.g. " Awww you got me in the sweets !". syrup of figs -Rhyming Slangfor for 'wig'. e.g. "See that old bloke over there, is that a syrup he's wearing or what ?".   T Tadger, tadge - the penis. tanked (up) - to get very drunk . taters -Rhyming Slang for 'potatoes in the mould' meaning cold. The word taters is an abbreviation of potatoes. tea leaf -Rhyming Slangfor thief. that old chestnut - seechestnut thrupenny bits -Rhyming Slangfor 'tits'. Often abbreviated to "froops". tin bath -Rhyming Slangfor 'laugh'. tits-up - all gone wrong. Vulgar version of 'belly- up'. (on your) Todd - short for Todd Sloane,Rhyming Slangfor 'own'. After the famous jockey. e.g. "There's you lot having a wild time and I'm left here all on me' Todd". tom - an overly assertive, aggressive or masculine 'street walker' (prostitute). The term goes back many years and may be related to a 'tom-cat'. Often heard in UK TV police drama's. tomtit -Rhyming Slangfor 'shit'. e.g. "Just nipping out for a tomtit". tool - the penis, a foolish person. tooled-up - to arm oneself, usually with improvised weapons like bottles or sticks. e.g. "There was a rightruck dahn the pub last night and then theseheadcasesgot tooled-up !". tooled - a euphemism for drunk. top ! - brilliant, excellent. A 90's term. trainspotter - a socially inept young male who records useless information about trains such as number and type. The 'classic' trainspotter will have a spiral bound notebook, thermos flask, unfashionable shoulder bag and ananorak. Used as a term of abuse much like 'geek' or 'spod'. Also used to describe someone who hangs around a DJ watching him mix. trashed - common term for getting very drunk. e.g. "We got completely trashed last night". trog - common word for an ugly girl. (the) trots - diarrhoea. named because of the frequent trip to the khazi if you have this condition. trouble and strife -Rhyming Slangfor 'wife'. trouser action - a euphemism for sexual activity. turn it in - 'calm down', 'stop that', 'leave it out'. turtles/tortoise head - to have the tortoise/turtles head is to need to defecate urgently, i.e. like a turtles head poking out ! e.g. "Quick, quick, I've got the turtles head !". tyre kicker - a time waster. From the pointless act of kicking tyres when looking round a second-hand car. U   Up for it - to be willing to have a good time. Also for a woman to be sexually available. Uncle Tom Cobley and all - a phrase meaning 'everyone'. Can be used sarcastically as in "I bloody turned up to find Uncle Tom Cobley and all there !". From the song 'Widecombe Fair'.   V  Vinegar stroke - the assumed last thrust of intercourse or hand stroke (of masturbation) when ejaculation occurs. I have now heard a few meanings. The two most likely are (1) Ejaculation likened to vinegar spraying from a shaken bottle and (2) the face one makes when tasting vinegar is akin to that pulled when orgasming (thanks to Omar).   W  Wank - to masturbate. e.g. "I was dying for a wank". Can also be used as a negative retort "Oh wank!" and more recently to describe a something considered useless etc. e.g. "I hate the Spice Girls, they're a load of old wank!". wanker - an old English word that is a very common term of abuse. A wanker is an idiot or an unpleasant person. From 19th century Yorkshire dialect meaning 'idiot'. wank mag - pornographic magazine wank off - to masturbate wank on - to bore, talk endlessly. e.g. "Oh for god sake, you really wank on don't you !". wank stain - general term of abuse. wankered - a modern term meaning 'very drunk'. wazz - to urinate. e.g. "I'm just off for a wazz". weasel and stoat -Rhyming Slangfor coat. wedge - money. From the appearance of a number of folded notes. Examples of it's use are - "I got paid a fair old wedge for doin' that job" or "Are you wedged-up and ready to go ?". wedgie - a spot of tomfoolery often engaged in by drunken lads where the victim is lifted by his underpant elastic thus pulling the gusset into the bum crack (very painful !). weed - common name for cannabis leaf. well ard/hard - someone or something that is very tough or can be used as an exclamation of appreciation. well I go to the foot of my stairs ! - an archaic exclamation of surprise. well up for it - to be very interested in something. e.g. "If you want to go out Saturday night I'm well up for it !". what's that got to do with the price of eggs ? - a reply given when someone has made an irrelevant statement in regards to the currently discussed subject. whirly - the unpleasant spinning feeling one get's when very drunk. e.g. "I was sooff my face| last night that I started to get a bit whirly". Suggested by R. Bailey. whistle and flute -Rhyming Slangfor suit. e.g. "Be sure to wear a whistle if your coming to the wedding". wicked - excellent, cool. A phrase that has become somewhat over used. From US black origin. Has been replace by 'bad' and 'phat'. window licker - a name for the sort of  'nutter' who sits next to you on the bus and does something weird. Have heard this one from a number of people but Lee Austin sent me a 'survey form' with it on so he gets the credit. wind up - to tease, to perform a prank. e.g. "You must have seen from a mile away it was a wind up ?". wind-up merchant - someone who specializes in teasing. winner - something that is a potential success. wonga - money. From the Romany word for coal, 'wanger'. i.e. "I've got loads'a wonga since I got that pay rise.".     X Y Yob - a horrible or uncouth young man. FromBackslangfor 'boy'.   Z  zeds - sleep. e.g. "I really must get some zeds before we go out tonight". zeig heils- Rhyming Slangfor piles. Previous page    OPRSTUVW XYZ More Slang

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---

Cockney Rhyming Slang

Home

London Cockney Rhyming Slang Adam and Eve for 'believe'. eg "Would you Adam and Eve it mate !". afters - short for the term 'after hours' meaning drinking in a pub after official closing time. agro - short for aggravation or violence. eg "He was steaming drunk and well up for some agro". Alan Whicker(s) - Rhyming Slang for 'knickers' all over the gaff/shop - general term to describe someone or something that has no direction or that is in a mess. allright / awright - a greeting literally meaning 'is everything all fine ?'. Usually used in the form "awright mate !". Annabel Giles - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'piles' (haemorrhoids). 'andsome - (handsome) - very good. eg "That's 'andsome mate" (That's great/brilliant). anorak - geek, nerd. A term that has been used since the 80's. An 'anorak' is always's male, unfashionable and possibly a 'trainspotter'. (Sir) Anthony Blunt - for 'cunt'. apple core - for 'score' (£20). apples and pears - for 'stairs'. A rather cliched Rhyming Slang term which is more often than not used in a sarcastic manner as if to emulate (or take the piss out of) cockney speech. I am forced to add this saying as I get a suggestion every couple of weeks for it. arching for it - (like a cat on heat) a term sometimes used to describe a young lady who is sexually fired up. Also see gagging for it. Aris(totle) - Rhyming Slang. This is a complex one. The meaning of the term 'Aris' is 'arse' (rear end). This derives from 'Aristotle' = short for the Rhyming Slang term 'bottle and glass' = 'arse'. arrows - the game darts - pron, "arras". arse - the word has developed over the past few years and can be used in a number of ways. The first meaning is obviously 'bottom' and is the English (and original) version of the American 'ass'. The more recent way of using the word is as an exclamation of annoyance, i.e.. when you do something clumsy or when things just don't go your way. Then you might simply say 'Arse !'. This almost definitely stems from UK TV shows like 'The Fast Show' and 'Father Ted'. Another meaning would be to simply refer to someone as an 'arse' as an insult. arse about / arsing about - to fool around. eg. "Stop arsing around". arse- about- face - something that is in a mess. or crooked eg. "Look at the state of that shelf you just put up, it's all arse about face !". arseholed - very drunk. eg. "I got totally arseholed on Saturday night". arse- over- tit /- elbow - to fall over in a dramatic fashion. eg. "I'd had a bit to drink you see and I just went arse- over- tit !". Aunt Annie - for 'fanny' (vagina). Ayrton Senna - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'tenner' (ten pound note). eg "I've only got an Aerton left to last me the month !".    B Baby giraffe - for 'half' of a pint of beer. backhander - a payment given, normally in a secretive fashion. ballistic - to go mad with rage. eg "He went totally ballistic". banged up - to be put in prison. eg "Did you hear John got banged up for that blag". bangers - another name for sausages. Originates from the fact that they explode when cooking if they are not pierced first. A traditional English meal is 'bangers and mash' (sausages + mashed potatoes). banging - a 'rave culture' term meaning exciting, powerful etc. Has replaced terms such as 'kicking' and 'slammin'. A typical example of the term being used would be when a clubber says a DJ was playing 'banging choons' (a lively full- on set). banjaxed - meaning drunk or stoned. eg "I feel really banjaxed". From the word 'banjax' - meaning to smash or destroy. Barclays bank - (normally shortened to 'Barclays'') - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'wank'. eg "Dave's a long time in the khazi, bet he's 'avin a Barclays' !". barf - to vomit. Also sometimes 'barf- up'. barmy - a foolish person, mad. "You must be barmy mate". Barnet fair - normally shortened to 'Barnet' - Rhyming Slang for 'hair'. eg "I'm 'avin my Barnet chopped on sa'aday !" (I'm having my hair cut on Saturday). barney - row, violent argument.  battle cruiser - for 'boozer', meaning pub (public house). bean flicker - a lesbian. Likening the clitoris to a bean. Also 'to flick one's bean' is for a woman to masturbate. Suggested by Joanne Evert. bearded axe wound - vulgar term for the vagina. bearded clam - a vulgar term for a woman's sexual organs. beast - a common term used to describe an ugly bird. behave ! - pron. 'bee- ave'. Meaning 'sort yourself out', 'stop being silly'. Can be used in an agressive manner as if to say 'stop doing  that, or else'. Also, in these post Austin Powers days can be 'oooh behave !". beef bayonet - a playful name for penis. beef curtains - another vulgar term for a woman's 'bits'. beer monster - a laddish heavy drinker (normally young). i.e. "Did you see Dave from accounts at the Christmas party ? That bloke is a complete beer monster !". bell - a telephone call. eg "give us a bell later" bell- end - end of penis. Comes from it's shape. Can be applied to a person as an insult "You total bell- end!". bender - this term can mean a drinking spree, or a gay bloke (in the latter case, short for 'gender bender'). bent - can mean 'gay man' or 'stolen'. ie "That bloke dahn the market sells bent goods". bent as a nine* pound/bob note - (* denomination varies widely) a term to describe someone thought to be gay. eg "(H)e's bent as a nine bob note mate" and also used to describe something that is illegal/crooked, ie. stolen goods. berk - Rhyming Slang, short for 'Berkshire Hunt', meaning 'cunt'. Most people go around calling people 'berks' for years not realising that it is slang for one of the strongest swear words in the English language. Bernie Flint - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'skint'. Not used anywhere near as much as boracic lint. biffa - large butch girl. big girl's blouse - a term that has more associations with the north of England, but is also used 'down south'. Normally used as a term to playfully ridicule a young man who is a bit soft and shy. The sort of thing your uncle might say to you. eg. "Come on, put your back into it you big girls blouse !". Billy - short for 'Billy Whizz' a character from an English children's comic (the Beano). 'Whizz' is another name for the drug 'speed'. ie. It makes you whizz. Billy no mates - this is a term I have heard from about four different unconnected people and is used to describe a sad bloke who has few friends. It can also be used describe yourself, ie. "I don't get out much these days, I'm Billy no mates me". bimbo - a young woman considered sexually attractive but of limited intelligence. From the Italian word for little child / baby. bird - probably the most common slang term for woman/girl/girlfriend. In prison slang a 'bird' is a prison sentence. eg. "He's doing 'is bird in Dartmoor". This comes from the Rhyming Slang term 'birdlime' meaning 'time'. bit of a knob - a general term of abuse. e.g. "He seems like a bit of a knob". Especially used when you don't really know someone but your initial impressions are that you don't like them. bit of awright / stuff / fluff - general term used by men to refer to an attractive young lady. bladdered - very drunk. eg. "he was completely bladdered" blag - slang word for a robbery (cor) blimey - corruption of the oath 'God blind me'. Used as an exclamation. Also used in the form "blimey O'Riley". blinding / blinder - used to describe something amazing or wonderful. eg "We 'ad a right blinding time last night dahn the pub". bloke - general term for a man of unknown name. eg. "Look at that bloke over there". Very common. blotto - a fairly old term for 'very drunk', pretty much replaced by newer terms. eg "I got totally blotto last night". blower - slang for telephone. eg. "I've got John on the blower". blow- job - the most common term for oral sex (on men). Can be shortened to 'blow'. blow- off - polite slang word for fart. bluey - pornographic film, normally a video. boat race - for 'face'. eg "She looks awright from behind, but you wanna see the boat mate". bob - shilling(s) in 'old' money. Now the 5p coin. bobble hat and scarf - Modern Rhyming Slang - for 'laugh'. I have also heard 'Bubble bath' used. Used in short form, eg "You're 'avin a bobble mate". Bobby - slang for policeman (from Robert Peel). Bob Hope - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dope' (cannabis). i.e. "I'm off out to get some Bob". Bob's your uncle - This term may come from the Irish politician Balfour who in 1887 was unexpectedly promoted to the post of Chief Secretary for Ireland by his uncle Robert, Lord Salisbury. This stroke of nepotism is said to have inspired the term. The phrase is used as if to say "and so it is done". e.g. "You just turn on the power, hit the switch and Bob's your uncle". bone-on - another name for an erection. booze (up)/boozer - booze = drink ('bottle of booze', "lets go for a booze/booze- up ?"). boozer = pub/drunkard ("he's a right boozer", "lets go dahn the boozer"). From Middle Dutch 'busen', to drink to excess. Bo Peep - for 'sleep', normally in it's full form. Also in the cute form 'Bo Bo's'. borasic lint - for 'skint' (penniless). Used in it's short form, eg "I'm totally borasic !". bosh / boche - this general use term is not as fashionable as it once was. Used mainly together with a hand action such as a punch or painting a wall. eg "It won't take a second to do that son, just go bosh bosh bosh and Bob's yer uncle" bottle - courage, balls. eg "he lost his bottle", "he bottled out", "he's got a lot of bottle". The most common explanation of this term is that it comes from the Rhyming Slang 'bottle and glass' - 'arse'. ie. To loose ones bottle, to loose ones arse (incontinence produced by fear). bottler - someone who 'bottles' out, see above. botty boy - offensive slang for gay man. bovver - trouble, usually fighting. Also bovver boots - large lace- up boots worn by thugs (especially skinheads) and bovver boys- boys that cause the bovver mate ! box - this has many meanings such as television ("what's on the box ?") and vagina. Also out of your box and off your box are used for drunk or stoned. Brahms and Liszt - for ' pissed' (drunk), used in it's full form. brass (nail) - 'tail' meaning prostitute. Can be heard in 70's and 80's police drama's. brass monkeys - cold weather, as in "it's brass monkeys out there". Comes from the saying 'cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey'. As far as I can see the debate on the origins of this one are still ongoing. Many sources say it comes from a old naval device for holding cannon balls (called a 'brass monkey'), others discount this. bread - slang for 'money'. From the Rhyming Slang 'bread and honey'. bread knife - for 'wife'. e.g. "How's the bread knife doin' mate ?". brew - slang for a cup of tea and sometimes a pint of beer. eg "Do you fancy a brew ?". brewers droop - a playful name given to male sexual incapasitance due to alcohol consumption. brill - short for 'brilliant'. A bit of a schoolboy term, although it is still used. Bristol's - Rhyming Slang, short for Bristol city, 'titty'. Therefore 'Bristol's' = 'titties' or 'tits'. Used in the term "She's big in the Bristol area". brown bread - for 'dead'. Used in it's full form. brown nose(r) / nosing - someone who is sycophantic, who 'licks arse' (how they get a brown nose). bubble and squeek - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'greek'. After the name of the dish  which is left-over cabbage and potato fried up (usually for breakfast). A popular term for a person of Greek origin during the 80's. Usually shortened, i.e. "I'm sure Dave once told me he's dad was a bubble". bugger - a mild form of abuse or an exclamation. Used commonly and without worry about offending. eg "You crafty bugger !". Someone who is 'a bugger' is more likely to be 'cheeky' rather than a rogue. Other forms are: bugger- off (to tell someone to go away / to leave quickly) and bugger- all (nothing at all. eg "I've got bugger- all money left"). The term derives from the earlier sense, from someone who practices anal intercourse. bum bandit - slang term for gay man. bumhole engineer - vulgar term for a gay man. bum suck - to wet the end of a cigarette or joint when you smoke it. eg. A complaint made amongst smokers " Hey man don't bum it !". (a) bun in the oven - meaning pregnant. eg "Did you know she's got a bun in the oven ?". (to) bunk- off - to be absent without permission, usually used by children who miss days at school. (to do a) bunk - to make an escape, leave rapidly. eg. " Once Fred er'd the filth were onto him he dun a bunk". bunk- up - term for sexual intercourse. "'allo darlin, fancy a bunk- up!?". buns - bottom, usually used to refer to a mans behind by women. bush - another word for vagina. (the) business - seriously good/wicked/cool. eg "You wanna see Daves new motah,- it's the business !". butchers - , short for for 'butchers hook' meaning 'look'. A very common example of rhyming slang, usual examples are "give us a butchers" or "let's av a butchers".    C Cabbage - sometimes used as an offensive or playful term for someone a bit slow or foolish. cabbaged - used for tired or stoned - eg. "I feel totally cabbaged". Can also be used for drunk. cack - faeces, rubbish. eg "What a load of old cack you talk sometimes !". cakehole - mouth. eg "Shove that in your cakehole !", "shut your cakehole !". caned - drunk or stoned. A popular 90's term. carpet muncher - lesbian. From the likeness (?) of a woman's pubic hair to a bit of carpet. Also 'rug muncher'. char / cha - tea. From Chinese cha. eg. "Oooh I'd luv a cup'a char". Chalfont St Giles - Modern Rhyming Slang , usually shortened to 'Chalfont's' meaning 'piles' (haemorrhoids). Chalfont St Giles is a town to the north west of London. Chang - meaning 'Charlie Chang' which in turn is a long form of Charlie, slang for cocaine. Charlie - widely used slang for cocaine. Sometimes also heard as 'Charles'. (a right) Charlie - short for 'Charlie Ronce' - Rh yming Slang for 'ponce'. Normally used in the form 'a right Charlie'. The meaning for 'ponce' can vary from a dodgy character or idiot or for a homosexual. Chas'n'Dave - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shave'. Chelsea smile - the scar you get when you have been cut ear to ear is known as a Chelsea smile. I think this term comes from the criminal underworld of the 60's, a la Kray era. chief - general respectful term used to address a man. It can be used to address a superior. More recently it can be used as an insult where calling someone 'chief' is indicating they are a ' bit of a knob'. Also see guv'nor. china - short for 'China plate','mate'. Used as a general term to address someone you are at least a bit familiar with. Usually prefixed by 'me old'. eg. "Awright me old china !". chinky - Chinese takeaway or person. eg. "shall we go over the chinky ?" (shall we take a visit to the Chinese takeaway ?). chip - to leave. e.g. "I've gotta chip, catch you later". choked - very disappointed or overcome with emotion choke/choking the chicken - term for male masturbation. chopper - slang for penis and also a  1970's popular English bicycle with a banana seat, now a cult classic chronic - terrible, extreme. e.g. "I've got chronic headache". chuck your/my muck - vulgar term used to describe the male orgasm. eg. "I was just about to chuck my muck and the phone rang". chuffed - very happy, delighted. eg. "I'm really chuffed with that". chug nuts - slang term for faeces stuck to body hair around the anus (who thinks these up ?!). chunder - to be sick (vomit). Of Australian origin. Two ideas of its origin are cartoon character 'Chunder Loo' taken as for 'spew'. from the ships used for convict transportation to Australia where the cons who were higher up in the ship used to shout "watch under !" before they vomited from sea sickness. chutney ferret - slang term for a gay man. ciggy - slang for cigarette Claire Rayner's - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'trainers' (running shoes). clap - venereal disease - from Old French 'clapoir' meaning 'venereal bubo'. Often preceded by "a dose of the". claret - slang for blood. eg "There was a right ding-dong dahn the boozer last night, claret all over the place !". clobber - clothes, kit. eg. "I've gotta go shopping for some new clobber". (to) clock - to notice / see / look at. clump - to hit, usually punch. A term often used by a bit of a rough geezer, i.e. "I'll come over there and clump you if your not careful !". cobblers - Rhyming Slang, short for 'cobblers awls', 'balls'. Used as a general swear word much in the way 'balls' is. eg. "That's a right load of old cobblers" or as a one word disagreement "Cobblers !". Also used for testicles. cock - a general term for a man. Derives from the term 'cock- sparrow' and has been used for at least three hundred years. A common phrase heard is "wotcher cock !" meaning 'hello mate'. Also the term is very much used as a word for  'penis'. cock and bull story - a rubbish story, nonsense. cocksucker - derogatory slang term used in many countries, probably American origin (to) cop hold - to take hold of, to look at. Also ' cop a feel' to grope someone sexually (to) cop it - to die, to get into trouble (to) cop off - to make an excuse to avoid something,  also used to mean to 'get off' with someone sexually (to) cop out - to 'chicken' out of something or retire early due to laziness, go back on a promise cop- shop - police station copper - policeman. Derives from the word 'cop', to catch. craic - something that is 'a laugh' eg. "It'll be a right craic". Of Irish origin. cream your pants / knickers - an expression used to describe an excited or enthusiastic reaction (ie. orgasm). eg. "I bet if you saw his new car you'd cream your pants !". crikey - an expression of astonishment. Corruption of 'Christ'. (to come a) cropper - to fail badly or fall foul of something / someone. eg "You'll come a cropper if you mess with me mate". crust - money / wage. To 'earn ones crust'. Probably from bread, 'bread & honey' - money. cunt - the vagina. I have left many of the really obvious slang swear words off of the site to save some time but I feel the inclusion of arguably the 'strongest' word in the English language is necessary. The word can be used to describe a woman's sexual organs, and is very much disliked by nearly all women. This dislike probably stems from the aggressive sound of the word which conjures up a nasty image of the vagina rather than one of a sweet smelling tidy body part like ' quim' or ' muff'. Mostly used as a derogatory term for someone who you have extreme dislike and sometimes more playfully in male company where it's harsh meaning is somewhat watered down i.e. "Don't be a cunt John". All in all it's the one remaining taboo word in the English language today. cunted - a 90's term for very drunk. e.g. "I was so cunted last night I can't even remember how I got home". cunting - an intense term of derision, much like buggering or fucking. i.e. "Cunting bloody arse ! I can't believe we lost !". cushy - easy, "a right cushy number". Also from Hindustani 'khush'. See below. cushty - (also kushty) general word meaning everything is fine or that something has been resolved.  From Hindustani 'khush' meaning 'pleasant'. cuzzer - slang term for a curry.   D Damage - cost 'what's the damage ?'   darlin' - typical address to female (usually of an unknown name). A familiar (much hated by women) cry from men often heard is "allo darlin'". dead cert - something that is definite. eg "It's a dead cert he'll be there tonight" deep sea diver - see " skin diver ". Dennis Law - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'draw' (hashish). eg. "Has anyone seen Dennis ?" (have you got any 'smoke'?). diamond geezer - a good 'solid' reliable person. dickhead - an idiot, fool. Dicky - variation of the slang term Tom Dick Rhyming Slang for sick (unwell). eg "I was feeling a bit Dicky". Dicky (Dirt) - for 'shirt'. diesel dyke - a real butch lesbian. I think the work diesel simply conjures up images of big trucks and butch things. diggs - lodgings. dildo - used as an abusive term. Generally used much in the same way as div. ding- dong - argument or fight, normally preceded with "a bit of a". eg. "He 'ad a bit of a ding dong with Dave dahn the boozer last night". dipstick - idiot, fool. div/divvy - stupid or slow person. doddle - something that easy / no problem. dodgy - dubious person or thing. eg "He's a bit of a dodgy geezer". dog - one of the most popular words to describe an ugly girl. dog and bone - for 'phone'. Used in it's long and short form (dog). Not used as widely as it once was. Terms such as blower and bell seem more popular nowadays. (the) dogs - another name for a greyhound racing stadium ("I'm just off to the dogs") or short for the dogs bollocks. (the) dogs bollocks - a term used to denote something that is 'the best' or exceptional. eg "Daves new stereo is the dogs bollocks". Sometimes shortened to 'the dogs' or 'the bollocks' and often changed to similar sayings ie. 'the mutts nuts', 'the dogs danglies'. dog's dinner - overdressed or or in a mess. eg. "He was done up like a dog's dinner" or "You've made a right dogs dinner of this !". dolly bird - an attractive (usually heavily made- up)  woman. A vogue term of the 60's only really used in a derogatory way now. i.e. "Most of those girls in marketing are just dolly birds". Also used in an abbreviated form. e.g. "This place is dripping with dolly ". done over - beaten up, duffed in dong - slang for penis. dope - a slow or foolish person i.e. "He's a bit of a dope". A common term for cannabis (see Bob Hope). More recently it has been taken on by the younger generation to mean 'cool' or 'excellent' (originating in the US). doobry - a nonsensical word used when you forget the name of something, like a ' thingy'. Doris - a fairly recent term for a woman who is either plain or unattractive or it could just be used to describe a girl in a derogatory manner as if to say that her name is of little importance. i.e. "I was out last night with some Doris" or "She's a bit of a Doris". Apparently this term was invented by city traders in the 80's. dosh - money dosser - down- and- out, tramp  double bubble - a rate of pay meaning 'double time'. eg. "I'm working all weekend, it's for double bubble though". doughnut - a complete idiot or fool. Also, to make a car spin by pulling the handbrake while moving. Douglas Hurd - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'turd'. Normally shortened to 'Douglas'. eg. "Just nipping out for a Douglas mate". do what? - a common reply as if to say "what did you say ?" or used as an exclamation surprised at what someone has said. dozey mare/twonk/twit/sod/git/cow/twat etc - all purpose insulting phrase for someone who's a bit of a fool, cow and mare are used when the phrase is directed towards a woman. dread - feeling dreadful. "I feel dred man". Also a Rastafarian term used to describe something impressive or cool. drop one - to fart. drum - a house, home or building. The word is used especially in police and underworld circles and may come from the Romany word drom, meaning highway, but is possibly a back- formation from drummer, someone who knocks (drums) on people's doors, either to buy or sell goods or find somewhere to rob. Duch/Dutch - a term meaning wife often heard in the saying 'my old Dutch' thought to be - short for 'Duchess of Fife' - wife. Can also be used towards a male and is thought to come from the term 'Dutch plate' meaning 'mate'. duck and dive - to hide from trouble, usually the police or some dodgy geezers. dump - to defecate. eg. "I need to take a dump". Dutch oven - a term describing when you fart and hold your partners head under the covers. dyke - lesbian. The term is used throughout the country and in the US etc. It is of unknown origin, but I like to think it comes from the story of the boy who stuck his finger in the dyke. Also see diesel dyke.   E Earner - a source of income, not usually honest. Sometimes prefixed with " a nice little". Emma Freud's - Modern Rhyming Slang for haemorrhoids. e.g. "Oooh my Emma Freud's are'narrf playin' up". eppy - to freak out or 'go mad'. eg "He threw an absolute eppy when he found out". From epileptic fit. 'er indoors - the wife. Meaning the one at home. Made popular by the character Arthur Dailey from the TV series 'Minder'. extracting the urine - Having a laugh at someone elses's expense. Next Page More Slang

---

Click Here for more Every Day Posts by Alan

---